I have learnt hundreds of lessons in life, but the most difficult lesson I’ve learnt is to unabashedly live by the rules that I have set for myself. There are certain things in everyone’s life they can not compromise with; For some, it’s their career. For some, it’s freedom. For some, it is to stick by their traditions.
Every human being no matter how Not-opinionated they are or how flexible they are, Every one has a set of rules they live by subconciouslly . There are always some guidelines, to which their direction and purpose is attached.
I have realised if I don’t fight for myself, no one will. Everyone would assume I am having a gala time enjoying living by their kind of lifestyle, adopting to their methods and being comfortable in it.
Our traditions mostly ask girls to follow certain norms especially after her marriage. She is expected to not be ‘herself’ and unlearn her independence and un-pamper herself in the most inorganic way, unless she is super lucky to have an independent household where she makes her own proclamations, where her husband understands her and gives her the gift of complete freedom to choose to live her life on her own terms as much as he does. I do not believe in the system of arrange marriages for the sole reason that the couple doesn’t know mostly anything about each other, and it’s hard to find a middle ground all of a sudden. It is certainly not for impulsive people like myself.
If we go by the dictionary,
Marriage /n/ :the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.
When it states about TWO people. Why is just ONE of them expected to bend themselves in our culture and adhere to the same old ghissey pittey rules that doesn’t resonate with their life at all.
Thanks to the current times and a little twist in the mindsets, In arrange marriages, The couple is “expected” to “adjust” with each other. BOTH of them. Some of those marriages work so well. It’s super cool when two people find a middle ground and adjust with each other here and there but when there’s just one person who has to give up himself / herself. It kills the entire purpose of his or her life.
I am someone who’s always got her way. I don’t know how I did it but whether it was a job or a collaboration, I have found my way out somehow. Of course, Both Hard work and smart work played a big role in the roller coaster journey of my career. One of my rules say, “Respect over Money”, and I have left big collaborations where the former kind of lacked. Obviously, no one has the right to play you like a joke.
When you work for someone, or you live with someone. There are certain conditions, One must never compromise with.
I believe, if you lose them, you lose direction, you lose self worth, you lose freedom, you lose purpose, and eventually you lose yourself.
If you feel that you’ve lost yourself in a job or a relationship, choose to lose the latter but never ever lose yourself. One can never be happy if they aren’t true to themselves. Never internally truly deeply madly happy, unless you love your T&C truly deeply madly as well.
Write your truth, hand it over to the next person. If they respect it, Hold them close the closest.
PS: All rules aren’t meant to be broken, my friend, especially when they’re made by you.
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